Regrading the Yard

03/10/25

I only got one quote to re-grade my yard. That’s all it took to think, “I can probably do it myself.” So, here we are, saving our pennies while we sacrifice our sanity. I rented a sod cutter and got to it.

After just two and a half days of grueling labor under the relentless Florida sun, I had to take several days off to let my aching muscles recover. Roughly 4 days, 436 grams of protein, and 32 ounces of tart cherry juice later, I was back at it.

What I miss the most about my early twenties is not having sore knees every time I squat to lift something. Especially when it’s squares upon squares of sod, over and over, for hours. These days, every time I bend or squat, my joints snap, crackle, or pop like the Rice Crispies cereal I ate for breakfast as a child. The Keebler elves never mentioned that this would occur.

After another two days, most of the sod had been removed from our yard, leaving only the task of re-grading. Oh, you know. It’s just a simple job of doing it manually with a single rake. How hard could that be?

I’m dumb and know nothing, and I nearly died.

My friendly neighbor finally wandered over and inquired about what I was up to. I explained my situation, and he recommended renting a Bobcat. I told him I didn’t know how to operate one. “Just let me know when you rent it, dear. Tell me what you want removed, and I’ll drive it for you.” Such a simple and brilliant suggestion. Perhaps I should have asked for help in the first place.

It’s 11:15 pm, and I am exhausted. To be continued.